Jokes For All Occasions

The new play was a failure. After the first act, many left the theatre; at the end of the second, most of the others started out. A cynical critic as he rose from his aisle seat raised a restraining hand. "Wait!" he commanded loudly. "Women and children first!"

"I suppose I must admit that I do have my faults," the husband remarked in a tone that was far from humble. "Yes," the wife snapped, "and in your opinion your faults are better than other folks' virtues."

To one asking what is beauty, a wit replied: "That is the question of a blind man."