From a metaphysical point of view, we can imagine that the Serpent, who led the forebears of mankind to the Expulsion, incorporated his structure into the psyche of all their descendants to deprive them of the joy of being and, ultimately, to lead them to death through self-destruction. I imagined this structure in the form of Ouroboros, who symbolically eats himself, and the closed vicious circle of pathological reactions came to life in the form of this ancient symbol. Therefore, in the further narration, there will be many references to Ouroboros. Sometimes, I will correlate the described patterns with the hunger of this creature and the volume it occupies in the psyche.

I have based my work not on the theory of evolution, which posits that humans descended from apes, but on the Biblical story of Paradise Lost. First, a bit of ancient factology, and then a flight of fancy.

Let's introduce the first humans, Adam and Eve. God created Adam from clay and breathed life into him. A little later, Eve was created from Adam's rib, and they began to live in Paradise, which was called Eden. They were provided with everything they needed, were satisfied with everything, and were not worried about anything. They seemed perfect to themselves and to each other. All in all, they were happy.

In that Garden of Eden there were many trees, including two forbidden trees: «In the fertile land, the Lord God grew every beautiful tree with edible fruit, and also he grew the tree of life in the middle of the garden and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil». Gen 2:9.

God warned Adam that eating of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil leads to death: «but don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because on the day you eat from it, you will die». Gen. 2:17.

In the same garden dwelt the Serpent: «The snake was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman,“Did God really say that you shouldn’t eat from any tree in the garden?”. The woman said to the snake, “We may eat the fruit of the garden’s trees but not the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden. God said, “Don’t eat from it, and don’t touch it, or you will die”. The snake said to the woman, “You won’t die! God knows that on the day you eat from it, you will see clearly and you will be like God, knowing good and evil». Gen. 3:1–6.

A number of questions arise, such as why did God create such a tree? And where did the Serpent come from? Here we can think about the balance of dark and light, and free will to choose sides, but that's a topic for another study. Although… we are not going to seriously criticize the Creator, are we? He wanted it and he created it! Just to be…

Let's get back to what the Scripture says: «The woman saw that the tree was beautiful with delicious food and that the tree would provide wisdom, so she took some of its fruit and ate it, and also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then they both saw clearly and knew that they were naked. So, they sewed fig leaves together and made garments for themselves.

During that day’s cool evening breeze, they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden; and the man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God in the middle of the garden’s trees.

The Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”

The man replied, “I heard your sound in the garden; I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree, which I commanded you not to eat?”

The man said, “The woman you gave me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate». Gen. 3:7–13.

So, the Serpent managed to seduce Eve, and she persuaded Adam, and they both ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Serpent promised them that they would become as perfect and intelligent as God himself, but the consequences of this act were totally unexpected. After eating the apple, Adam and Eve saw their nakedness at the same moment. They were ashamed – not because they had changed, but because their view of themselves had changed. I think this was the first act of self-discontent, in fact, the first act of auto-aggression, which included shame about their bodies and guilt about what they had done.

In expelling all three participants in this drama from Paradise, God cursed each one, he said to the Serpent: «Because you did this, you are the one cursed out of all the farm animals, out of all the wild animals. On your belly you will crawl, and dust you will eat every day of your life. I will put contempt between you and the woman, between your offspring and hers. They will strike your head, but you will strike at their heels».

To Eve: «I will make your pregnancy very painful; in pain you will bear children. You will desire your husband, but he will rule over you».

To Adam: «Because you listened to your wife’s voice and you ate from the tree that I commanded “Don’t eat from it” cursed is the fertile land because of you; in pain you will eat from it every day of your life. Weeds and thistles will grow for you, even as you eat the field’s plants; by the sweat of your face, you will eat bread – until you return to the fertile land, since from it you were taken; you are soil, to the soil you will return». Gen. 3:14–19.

After the Fall of man «The man named his wife Eve because she is the mother of everyone who lives. The Lord God made the man and his wife leather clothes and dressed them». Gen. 3:20, 21. Afterward Adam and Eve descended to the Earth.

«The Lord God said, “The human being has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil”. Now, so he doesn’t stretch out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever, the Lord God sent him out of the garden of Eden to farm the fertile land from which he was taken. He drove out the human. To the east of the garden of Eden, he stationed winged creatures wielding flaming swords to guard the way to the tree of life». Gen. 3:22–24.

Now it's purely a fantasy. The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil – the eternal dichotomy… And if we imagine that the Serpent was a branch of this tree from the part responsible for the knowledge of evil, and its fruit was the apple, and it contained the DNA of the Serpent. It is hard to see anything good in this apple – it brought misery to those who ate it. God warned that the fruit of this tree is deadly, but man, endowed with his own mind, ignored the warning. So, with the help of an apple, the Serpent penetrated into the consciousness of the first people. And then penetrated into the consciousness of all their descendants, where regret about the lost Paradise and guilt for the first sinful fall also live. And, as the Serpent deceived naive forefathers, so now it continues to deceive no less naive you and me. He promises us that if we listen to his teachings, we will reach a certain fullness, and then we will be happy as in Paradise, knowing exactly that it is impossible. And we endlessly dream about that eternal happiness, try to achieve the fullness necessary for it, and constantly punish ourselves for not succeeding.

Thus, Ouroboros, swallowed with the apple, promises and punishes everyone and always. He promises a return to Paradise, punishes by striving for perfection and the impossibility of achieving it. He exists in the psyche of all people – the same evil that was the fruit of the tree of Eden. And this evil is the punishment for the original sin of the forefathers.

Now let us imagine an infant in the mother's womb – there, the infant is protected, always fed, never lonely, has no worries, is always warm, and does not know about its «inferiority». The infant does not have to do anything there, only sleep. The mother's womb, the memory of which lives in the subconscious of each of us, may well be associated with the lost Paradise.

Ouroboros, transmitted by inheritance, having originated in a new person in the «paradise» of the mother's womb, leads this person through self-destruction to death in the life following birth, so that in a succession of incarnations, they again find themselves in the "paradise of the womb" together with a new life.

God → Paradise → Adam and Eve → Expulsion → life of labor and care → death → return to the earth, "from which one is taken".

And similarly: mother (God) → womb (paradise) → child (Adam or Eve) → Expulsion (birth) → life poisoned by the poison of the Ouroboros → self-destruction → death → hope of repeating the cycle.

Of course, no Ouroboros exists in our consciousness, and this book is about the emotional reactions and behavioral options of a person stuck at the infantile stage of psychological development. But if we take this fantasy as the starting point of a journey into our subconscious, it will be easier to navigate there. Therefore, let us accept as axiomatic the fact that every human being has in their psyche the structure of «Ouroboros», which I will discuss in this essay, because they are descendants of Adam and Eve. They also have the experience of life in the "paradise of the womb" and the experience of «expulsion» from the "paradise of the womb" at the moment of birth, followed by helpless infancy. With a responsive mother, the person successfully lives through this time and grows into a realized personality. However, even an adult personality under stress or overwork can regress to an earlier stage of psychological development.

The trigger mechanism for keeping the infantile personality structure intact, with the arrest of mental maturation, is maternal or substitute rejection – intentional, forced, or accidental. Probably, the more responsive and warm the mother is, the fewer the consequences of this birth shock – the expulsion from the "paradise of the womb". Conversely, the more indifferent or depressed the mother is, the greater the contrast between the womb and life outside it, and the stronger the desire to return there. The very fact of birth, from the infant's point of view, is already a fact of rejection. With repeated (post-birth) rejection by the mother, this infantile stage is fixed, and maturation does not occur; the personality remains stuck in the ouroboric structure.

The child's psyche probably seeks an explanation for what happened within itself and fixes on the paradigm: "If I become a better person, I will be worthy of love". Thus, the closure in the ouroboric circle is due to the coldness and insensitivity of the adults around the infant, who respond only to maximum crying and fulfill minimal needs. The child receives attention only after suffering. Another paradigm entrenched in their psyche is: "If I suffer, there is a chance that I will be noticed and given favors".

This work is not about specific people; it is about you and me. According to my observations, the overwhelming majority of those with whom I have had the opportunity to communicate have, in the structure of their psyche, an Ouroboros of larger or smaller size with all its «charms». Only a small percentage of people can adequately pass all the stages of adulthood and grow into an adult, responsible person, living not in illusions but in reality. I don't know what this is due to, as I have very little experience with such people, but I have come to the conclusion that it is not necessarily because they had a cloudless childhood and an accepting mother. Moreover, having a loving but ouroboric mother, generally devoid of true empathy, does not guarantee that her child will not grow up to be an infant; rather, it guarantees the opposite. Perhaps these superhumans living in reality have some innate volitional or intellectual traits that allow them not to fall prey to illusions. Perhaps such people don't care whether their mother is loving or rejecting, ouroboric or adult. Perhaps they have an experienced soul that has gone through many incarnations and matured through the ages. Perhaps in time, I will find the answer to these questions.