ATTENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA AND INTERNATIONAL LAW, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. IT IS FORBIDDEN ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, CHANGES IN THE TEXT OF THE PLAY IN THE FORMULATION WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR. THE PLAY CAN ONLY BE STAGED AFTER A DIRECT CONTRACT IS CONCLUDED BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.
Fiction. Drama. Comedy. Duration is two hours.
A play in two acts.
PHILIP Georgievich – Director of the company, "happy owner" of the gift;
VACHAGAN – the question of who he is remains open to the viewer (the actor's voice is required mysterious, voluminous);
YANA – Philip's wife;
JULIA – the mistress of Philip;
YULECHKA's LOVER – a cameo role without words.
ANTON is an employee of the company, Logist;
YURI – employee of the company, the Manager;
NATALIA Viktorovna – company employee, accountant;
GENNADIEVICH – an employee of the company, a driver (preferably a tall actor with a tummy);
MARK – a homeless man, a tax collector, a cameo role.
The play provides a record (the true thoughts of the characters) of almost all the characters. The sound engineer has a very serious job ahead of him, but it's worth it.
Vachagan, Gennadievich and Yulechka's lover or Vachagan and the lover can be played by one actor, at the discretion of the Director.
Mark and Yuri or mark and Anton are also interchangeable roles.
ATTRIBUTES REQUIRED FOR STAGING:
Three office desks, three office chairs, three laptops, an office phone, an office sofa, a cooler with a water bottle, a pile of documents. Scenography of the working office environment at the discretion of the Director.
The play also involves two different living spaces (no frills). Wardrobe, bed, chair, table, the rest is at the discretion of the Director.
To simulate a forest, you will need several Christmas trees (you can use artificial Christmas trees)
Small safe water explosive packages attached to the actor's body (preferably) or computer graphics simulating flying water splashes.
Safe fireworks that spray fireworks in a diameter of no more than 2 sq. m. (highly desirable)
You will need two large trained sheepdogs for the production!!! (highly desirable), otherwise dummies or children dressed in authentic dog costumes will do, but the effect will not be the same.
From special effects, it is highly desirable to create snowfall, rain, thunder, as well as wind that reaches the audience (it is extremely and extremely desirable to implement all this)
The season of events is autumn (September – October)
Due to the complexity of this statement, the contract will provide for possible minor changes.
A small office sofa for visitors, on which, snoring, huddles heavy driver Gennadievich. Desktops, laptops at which Manager Yuri and logistician Anton sit impressively, they are passionate about a computer game of tanks, play with each other over the network. The noise of gunfire and the roar of engines comes from their computers. Accountant Natalia pedicure with my bare feet on his Desk, carefully removes the cover on nails while talking on a cell phone with a friend, holding the phone shoulder to ear. With all this, the handset of the work phone breaks, but there is no one to take it, everyone is "very busy".
Finally, Natalia can't stand it, glancing at the work phone several times and looking around, picks up the phone.
NATALIA: (politely to your mobile) Snezhinochka, could you wait a second. The phone is ringing under my ear, I can't hear you at all.
He puts down his mobile phone and puts the work phone to his ear.
NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorishly) Yes! What did you want?
He listens to the phone, looks in the direction of the guys who are engaged in the game, turns to the phone.
NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorishly) Yuri can't come to the phone right now, he has… negotiations!
He listens to the phone, looks in the direction of the guys who are engaged in the game, turns to the phone.
NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorish) Anton is also busy right now. Do you think we sit around here all day, waiting for your call? Avral, that you as a small! Call back in… two hours.
Natalia looks doubtfully at the guys who only start hitting the keyboard harder with their fingers, their enthusiasm only increases.
NATALIA: (already moderately, without irritation) Although you know, call back better later in the evening, or even better tomorrow morning. I'll tell them you called, and if the guys are free, they'll call you back early. Have a nice day."
Natalia hangs up, shakes her head in disapproval, and shouts at the guys.
The driver shudders on the couch from the scream, marking his experience of this gadfly with a particularly loud snore.
One of the guys reluctantly turns to Natalia.
NATALIA: (angrily) Yura, my God, I'm an accountant, not a Manager, why do your clients call me all the time, distract me from work!
There is an explosive, furious, victorious laugh from Anton, who jumps up from his chair and gestures humiliatingly (preferably decently) at Yuri.
ANTON: (as emotional as possible) That's it, baby, Yes!!! Ukontrapupil Gavrik. How to drink give otchekryzhil on one-two! On!!!
Yuri panicked looks at his monitor, realizes that he lost, jumps out of the chair in horror, starts yelling at Natalia.
YURI: (furiously, gesturing) Natasha, mother peremat, to vymat to perejimati!!! Why are you distracting me at a time like this? I almost made it! And that you! (Savagely, puffing out the veins in his neck from exertion) Myyyyyyyyyyyyy!
NATALIA: (Yelling at Yuri) You deal with your customers first, then you will stuff Anton's hangar with your ammunition! For some reason, you don't get any calls about accounting issues, and I'm already sick of your clients! Petropavlovsk called again, they still haven't received the cargo!
(turns to Anton, shouting) You, by the way, Antoshenka also concerns!
Anton stops making faces and dancing, which he has been doing up to this point.
ANTON: I mean, Petropavlovsk. We shipped them everything two weeks ago.
NATALIA: (angrily, to Anton) Two weeks ago, this issue was removed long ago. They sent a new request, the invoice was issued and paid ten days ago. What have you forgotten?
Natalia looks in the direction of the sleeping driver.
NATALIA: (to the driver) Gennadievich, did you take the goods to the transport company in Petropavlovsk?
The driver doesn't respond, he's asleep.
Natalya waves her hand in his direction.
YURI: (to Natalia) What's the bill? By what amount, on what date?
Yuri reaches into his laptop.
NATALIA: (to Yuri) There are two hundred and something thousand, I don't remember exactly. Look at the last bill from them.
Anton also goes to his laptop, looking for something there.
Natalia picks up her mobile phone, squeezes it back between her shoulder and ear and continues her pedicure session.
NATALIA: (into the phone, gently) yeah, Snezan. So what's this dog of yours?
then he listens to the phone, nods his head, paints his toenails.
Plays loud rhythmic music of a panicked nature (recommended Intro to "Hymn of the jester»)
All office workers are scared.
The driver jumps up like a scalded man from the sofa, rushes, runs towards the cooler. His face is sleepy and swollen (you may need makeup).
Yuri and Anton jump up from their chairs, grab their heads, frantically start pounding on the computer keyboard, disconnect some cables, hide game disks, some records and magazines under the table, jump on their chairs, "stick their noses" in laptops, create the appearance of work.
Natalia with fright falls from her chair upside down, somewhere at the table, while only her painted leg remains in sight (to provide a soft safe fall).
Philip enters the office, looking stern in a suit and holding a mobile phone. In the other hand is a work bag. Presses the phone button, the rumbling music stops abruptly (the panic music is the soundtrack set as Philip's mobile phone ring).
Philip puts the phone to his ear.
PHILIPP: (into the phone, sternly, loudly) Hello? Yes! Ya With me can agree on. What volumes are you interested in? (he listens, expresses rejection on his face) Why are you calling me with your hundred kilos, we are a wholesale company, working from a ton. Well, we can deliver five hundred kilograms in exceptional cases, but no one will bother with a hundred here. You are welcome. Just…
Hangs up. Discontentedly looks at the situation in the office.
The driver Gennadievich is drinking water from a single glass, squinting in the direction of Philip, trying to remain unnoticed.
Accountant Natalia rummages under the table, trying to quickly put on shoes and quickly remove all unnecessary attributes of cosmetics.
Yuri and Anton, as if by chance, distracted from the pile of work, pay attention to the fact that the Director is in the office.
ANTON: (To Philip, as if surprised) Oh, Philip Georgievich! What brings you here? You're supposed to be on a business trip…
YURI: (to Philip) Good afternoon, comrade Director, what a pleasant surprise. And here we are already missing you. The office is boring, no one knows how to joke like you, everyone is sitting rotten stunted, but the work is really in full swing, here… from Petropavlovsk, the order was knocked out for two hundred s …something like thousands. Snatched it can be said from the hands of competitors.
PHILIPP: (To Yuri, sternly) What kind of order is this? Which they paid for ten days ago?
YURI: (to Philip) Well… (improbably, wagging) they paid, then wanted to refuse, someone offered them better terms, but in the end, thanks to my assertiveness and eloquence, we did not lose the client. All for the good of the company, Philip Georgievich, we try and work!
Philip looks at Anton.
ANTON: (To Philip, nodding) yeah. All right. We work like hell.
PHILIPP: (To Yuri and Anton) Well, I look, my eyes are so red. As if the day did not depart from the monitor. You at least have a rest sometimes, you can't do that either. There are, after all, regulations. No more than two hours in a row, then a fifteen – minute break. Have a Cup of tea, I brought it with me just in time for tea. I was released early, the negotiations were easy.
Philip goes to the accountant's Desk, puts out sweets and cookies, and notices that Natalia is rummaging under the table.
Philip leans across the table and looks down at the accountant.
PHILIPP: (Natalya) Good afternoon, Natalia Viktorovna!
Natalia looks out from under the table, confused.
NATALIA: (playfully) Hello, Philip Georgievich. Well, what are you so immediately official, Natalia Viktorovna…
PHILIP: (smiling) Yes, this is me, which can not be said in a joke conversation.
All the employees in the office start laughing hard in an instant. The Director draws attention to the driver, who inadvertently gave himself away with a laugh.
PHILIPP: (serious) I didn't understand. Gennadievich. What are you doing here? Are you a driver or what? You have a delivery schedule for two weeks in advance, everything is tight on time, and you are here to cool off…
GENNADIEVICH: (stammering) Yes… Yes I literally stabilizability to drink went. All in deliveries, working hard, and no honor! Why are you so quick, Philip Georgievich?
PHILIPP: (Gennadievich) Water means something to drink? And why is the muzzle all swollen out and dented? Not from a dream?
Gennadievich makes a humble face, lowers his hands, lowers his head in agony.
GENNADIEVICH: (plaintively) I'm starving, Philip Georgievich, I didn't want to tell you, but since you asked. My salary isn't that high, you know, and utilities are getting more expensive. I'm malnourished… result on the face. And dented – so it was in the transport company in the queue brawl was. I have a lot of cargo, so one of the guys in the queue got nervous. They dented me a little. I suffer, I don't regret my stomach, Philip Georgievich, but you treat me like this… like I'm… ashamed to say it…
Colleagues shut their mouths, trying to cover themselves in every possible way and not give out their laughter from the driver's skillful twisting out of the situation. And yet,laughter sometimes slips from colleagues.
PHILIPP: (to everyone, sorry) Okay, what's so funny? The man over there didn't get hurt for anything. Here's a bonus for you, Gennadievich, (takes a wad of money out of his pocket, counts it out, gives the driver a nice pile of cash) you're doing a good job, I'm sorry if I said something wrong.
Gennadievich, as if reluctantly, hesitantly, accepts the money.
GENNADIEVICH: (plaintively, to the Director) I'll go, I think, there really is still a lot to do.
PHILIPP: (driver) Can we have a Cup of tea with you? You won't get enough of water. And so you see… plump… GENNADIEVICH
: Thank you, Philip Georgievich, I'll have something to eat on the road, there's money now (shows everyone the bonus money, colleagues look at the driver with indignation). I'll go, I won't waste any time. We are all considered one family, we work in the same pot, if someone gives a slack, then we will all feel a drawdown.
Philip is moved, wipes a tear from his eye, hugs the driver, pats him on the shoulder.
PHILIPP: (driver) Come on, Gennadievich, take care of yourself. We need you and your family… Don't worry too much about it, either.
Gennadievich nods to the Director in a friendly and respectful manner, and leaves the office with the grimace of a modest hero.
PHILIPP: (to all the rest, cheerfully, positively) Well… a Cup of tea?
Loud positive music is playing (recommended by Passion Fruit "The Ring Ding Dong Song").
Colleagues on the rise begin to approach the table, cheerfully and joyfully dancing, carry their mugs, Philip unpacks Goodies, a pleasant organizational moment is coming.
The apartment has an intimate atmosphere. Prepared a bed, a table with refreshments. Twilight.
Yulechka in a short dressing gown defiles in a great mood, dancing. From the bathroom comes the sound of running water (shower).
Yulechka longs for upcoming events, all this is reflected on her face. The girl straightens the bedclothes, gently and tenderly straightens the sheet.
The sound of running water stops.
The girl enthusiastically looks in the direction of the upcoming appearance of the desired man.
A man in a large sombrero comes out in a long, beautiful dressing gown, his chest puffed out, and an important feigned gait. The man's face is not visible, as well as everything else, except for bare feet and hands, but it is clear that this is a man. And his intentions are not ambiguous.
Yulechka gets out of bed, begins to passionately untie her dressing gown, when suddenly the doorbell rings.
The characters freeze in their movements.
Philip's voice is heard from the other side of the door.
PHILIPP: (playing voice) My love! I'm here! Meet your baby bird soon!!! loud
rhythmic music of a panicked nature is playing (the introduction to the "jester's Hymn" is recommended)
Yulechka runs around the apartment in a panic, does not know what to grab. The man grabs his things from the chair, gestures and asks the girl where to go. After a short thought and panic throwing, Yulechka helps the man hide under the bed, he hardly fits under it. The girl covers the visible space with a blanket to the floor, gets better, goes to open the door.
Philip enters the apartment beaming with joy with a bouquet of flowers, takes out the phone, throws off the call. The music stops abruptly.
PHILIPP: (working tone) It's not working time, I'm still out.
He puts the phone in his pocket, looks at the girl, and smiles.
PHILIPP: (gently) Hello, my Bunny, how I missed you.
Yulechka closes the door runs up to Philip and jumps on top of him with a squeal, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Philip can barely hold his ground.
JULIA: (passionately kissing the neck, cheeks and nose) My love, you came, I did not prepare for nothing!
Philip puts his arm around the girl, holds her by the waist, and Yulia goes down to the floor.
PHILIPP: (gently) Really waiting for?
JULIA: (very honestly, reverently) Very! PHILIP
: (gently) But I'm supposed to be on a business trip right now, right? I decided things quickly and first of all to you, I wanted to make a surprise.
JULIA: (gently, pressing his cheek to the man's shoulder) Filechka, my love, I'm waiting for you all the time. It doesn't matter where you are! In my heart you are always, you are always here (puts Philip's hand to his left breast). Feel that, honey? Do you feel how much love is placed in this fragile chest?
PHILIPP: (embarrassed, bursting with compliments) It is not so you have too fragile…