Chapter seven

Members and candidate members are clustered around me. I go around the eyes of the neighborhood.

«There are no working conditions, even the minimum! No table, neither chairs, nor carafes with water, nor telephones – for nothing, that they don’t need a damn thing here! But nothing, colleagues: we will have everything!

We become in a circle. I stand in the center, of course – like the sun in relation to its customers. I see: Jesus does not actively like this. Recently… well, not the time… well, if you take the sequence of events, throughout all of them Izzy demonstrates his dislike for me more and more often. But now he is forced to restrain his ambitions: Paul is «not canonized» and remained with the people. Therefore, a friend must know his number. And he is, though not the «sixteenth», but not the first. But, «trick» with the setting of «many called, but yes few chosen» «does not pass» here. There are no called ones: all are favorites.

«Well, we are organized!» I smile, but for a very short time… that is, immediately turn off the smile. «And we were formed not to collectively sit on the throne. And we will not divide the Noosphere into tetras or detion too. Comrades, we will „steer“ together! What’s your opinion, dear colleague Caesar?»

I notice the already familiarly stretched index finger of Guy Julius.

«Dear Chairman! I agree with the collective nature of leadership. But there must be a center connecting us all. There must be the organizer. That is, the person who will take the decision of all procedural issues. Otherwise, our Supreme Soviet will turn into a ship without sails and helmsman.»

«But you cannot do without a helmsman in the open sea!» Mao Zedong reminds himself almost in the song format. I smile to the Chinese companion encouragingly: the pun was a great success.

Caesar smiles knowingly: the man really did not spend time when it was «in the form of a formless spirit»: he self-educated thoroughly.

«I thank my colleague Mao for a good pun, but the question is a serious one. Having learned a little of the distinguished Chairman – I am not talking about Chairman Mao right now – I have no doubt, that great things are waiting for us. So, the Supreme Council must be a truly working body.»

I once again «patting myself on the head»: what colleague I got!

«If I truly understood, colleague Caesar suggests that we establish the post of Chairman of the Supreme Council?»

Caesar does a fine job with his head.

«You truly understood me, dear Chairman!»

– Then I propose Caesar!

«Rejection!»

Quickly we got along with him: «the ball is to the left, the ball is to the right»!

«Then…»

«I offer myself!»

Eyes present, as if on cue, turn on «self-nominee»: this is… Jesus! Ay, how immodest it is, comrade! Or: «why not?»? Should someone still be first – let only in terms of lack of modesty? But the guy should, at least, think about it, at least, figured the chances of success! Or is he trying to secure a place for the future, forcing us to come to terms with the inevitable? «Gutta cavat lapidem non vie, sed sepe cadendo»? «Water sharpens a stone not by force, but frequent fall»? So, is it a colleague Jesus? Well, if in fact, so, then for a long time you will have to «fall»!

For a brief moment, an atmosphere of awkwardness reigns among us. Here, to you – and emperors! Here, to you – and the prophets! It would seem: God himself… or, whoever… told them to «push their elbows» and «climb over their heads», but it turns out: they are people, like people! Not a single boor… except for one… who does not seem to consider himself as such.

Members and candidates diligently look away not only from Jesus, but also from each other. Have to intervene: the guy, it turns out, nobody’s fool! And in the «Holy Scripture» he is such, too, cleanse! This is what life does for a man! Although in this case it would be more correct to say: «this is what death does to a person, especially this death: on the cross!»

«Elections – logically – cannot occur on an unopposed basis. The choice is, roughly speaking, giving preference to „someone from“. Therefore, I ask you to include in the protocol for voting not only the candidacy of the self-nominee Jesus, but my candidate also.»

«Name!»

Only Mohammed – the poetic soul – can so artistically request information! Excellent vocals complement the hands, in the oriental manner extended to me like to heaven. No analogies, but for some reason the Maghreb sorcerer from «Aladdin’s Magic Lamp» is immediately remembered: «Star of Suhain: tell me the name!»

«I propose to elect our colleague Stalin as Chairman of the Supreme Council!»

The pipe falls out of the mouth of Joseph Vissarionovich: colleague did not expect such a turn obviously. For a while he remains without text. But at Caesar right there to be material for sound. Before «going on the air,» he glitters with his eyes in Stalin encouragingly.

«I support! As far as I know, colleague Stalin has extensive experience in leading the work of the plan we need. He, if I am not mistaken, headed both the ruling party and the government, was the Supreme Commander in Chief. He united Eurasia under his scepter. Finally, the main thing: he is a master of bringing together different views!»

Caesar has not yet finished giving out a panegyric – and Stalin is already grumbling contentedly in his mustache: the information has been assimilated and processed.

«I thank colleague Caesar for such a high appreciation of my modest works. But, maybe, someone wants to say a word in support of the candidacy of Jesus?»

Caesar immediately passes us with a triumphant glance: «what did I say?!» His jubilation is understandable: Stalin did not mark on a competitor, but, on the contrary, lifted him and even «shook off the dust»!

But there are no people willing to «stand up» for Jesus. More than that: I am afraid no matter how Muhammad made a report on the theme of the «false God». Muhammad is an capable guy, and if he «gets to the microphone», I will not envy Jesus! That’s because, taking the floor, Muhammad will immediately take for «Christ»! I think that the Quran researcher was not quite right, who attributed the merit of the creation of Islam to the triumvirate – and even in such words: «Muhammad thought, Abu Bakr spoke, and Omar did». The triumvirate was, and Abu Bakr and Omar were complicit, but Muhammad thought, spoke and did with them, and without them!

But, praise… In general: the «matrix of the earthly prophet» is silent. Mohammed only frowns at the «self-promoted». Thank you for understanding, colleague Mohammed! I open my mouth, but they are ahead of me.

«Dear colleagues!»

Lenin did not get rid of his famous burr in the sound of «p.» in the Noosphere also.

«I have great respect for my colleague Jesus. This is certainly, brilliant person, a man of exceptional talent, but…»

Demonstrating chagrin, Lenin claps his hands on his thighs… at least in their form.

«… to my deepest understanding, colleague Jesus cannot be unifying center! He is a man of another character! After all, as far as I remember, when he was an earthling, bring not a peace, but a sword! What consensus can there be?! No, at this place we need a person, who would be different from him just more than his temperament, less capriciousness… Well, why I list: you read my „Letter to the congress“, in which gave an assessment of Stalin and some other comrades!»

Lenin pauses – and already triumphant at Stalin’s address.

«By the way, dear colleague Stalin, this applies to you too! You, too, are not fit for the role of the „unifying center“! Yes, my friend!»

The last words are illustrated by the classic «pose of the fert»: the body forward, the thumbs of both hands behind the sides of the vest, the head with a smile from somewhere below. Stalin, whom, it seems, not at all does not touch the jubilation of Ilyich, takes out the empty pipe – probably, tobacco they have not yet been delivered to the Noosphere – and good-naturedly grins at his mustache.

«I do not mind, colleague Lenin.»

Smile falls from the face of Lenin: he not yet accustomed to the noospheric familiarity. And from whom: from the object of criticism?

«Therefore, I once again thank Caesar’s colleague and I declare my withdrawal. I don’t want to be a bone of contention.»

Having honored the decency of Stalin, everyone together looks at Jesus. But the guy diligently «out of stock» – as if he says: «To hell to you, but not self-withdrawal! Do not wait!»

«In conclusion – a few words on the subject of contention.»

Stalin, it turns out, has not «left the podium» yet.

«So, here: „so that there is no discord between free people“, I suggest choosing the one, by whom we are reborn to almost human life.»

Jesus is immediately orphaned in terms of views: they are all immediately redirected to me. And then: if a man and suffered for all of humanity – not for that, but for «that.»

«I propose to vote immediately!» Stalin jiggles the shutter». «Why should we delay: everything is clear!»

Izzy immediately «goes out» with all cash «lights». That’s not because his «quench»: enthusiasm dried up, for, as a colleague said Stalin: «everything is clear.» Final score: fifteen zero to my advantage. That is, for me —all members, except for me and Izzy: applicants do not vote – and all candidates.

«Thank you for your trust!» I do not twist too much soul: although I was counting on it, it was not sure. Or rather: I was not absolutely sure of unanimity. «I hope that you will not remain ungrateful.»

«???»

«I am on the issue of trust too.»

The number of words does not reduce the number of participants amazement: everyone participates. I do not delay a moment of celebration: everything is good in moderation.

«I propose to elect our colleagues Caesar and Stalin as my deputies. Immediately – anticipating questions – I have some words about the essence of the substitution. So, the Vice-Chairman – with a capital letter – is responsible for the block of questions assigned to him. What kind of questions? Various: ensuring law and order, state security, external relations, if in those there will be a need. Another group of issues: the provision of employment, the organization of its cultural leisure, housing, utilities. In addition, the Deputy, as is already evident from the title itself, will replace me for the time of my absence.»

«???»

Colleagues are not original, but objective. And then: what could be the absence in the Noosphere?! More precisely: from the Noosphere?!»

«I hasten to dispel your bewilderment!»

«Haste» does not prevent me from anticipating the «dissipation» of the corresponding smile: with a mixture of mental superiority. Nothing: the chair is possible.

«We have not yet begun to live in the Noosphere, colleagues! And who can vouch for the fact, that our rudimentary ideas about it correspond to reality? As the saying goes: wait and see! In the literal sense: when we live —then we will see. But it is advisable to prepare for the „viewing“ now – just in case!»

«It is reasonable – like everything that our Chairman says!» Caesar «pours me oil» generously. Of course, this does not remain without reaction of colleague Jesus: the boy is no longer green, but turns black face. It is blackening in a complex: from envy, and from grief.

«I support our dear colleague!» Napoleon joins Caesar. «I propose not to delay the voting procedure: it’s time to start doing business!»

I have been working out the approval to Bonaparte for centuries and «open an account». Pure formality: unanimously.

«It seems, «with the papers» is over!» I smile. And this time I’m not the only one who smiles: all my colleagues passed the «path of bureaucracy»», regardless of the «time of vocation». «Then, as a colleague Napoleon correctly noted…»

Once again I celebrate the encouraging look in Bonaparte, already not pink, but red with embarrassment. Apparently, I «went over the dose». But these are not cards: busting is here only for the benefit.

«… it’s time to do business! To begin with, let’s decide the crucial question: „build“ or not „build“?»

«???»

Colleagues are perplexed t at meat firs, then at each other. Under apologizing physiognomy I immediately lay my hands on my chest.

«I, apparently, inaccurately said, colleagues! I did not mean cohorts or battalions! I’m talking about the banal construction: housing, social facilities… well, and so on!»

«A-a-a-a!» the team is restored in unison. But the joy of comprehension is replaced by bewilderment immediately. «Why should we?»

I did not doubt the likelihood of such a question. More than that: waited it. And general bewilderment would not take me by surprise. But Genghis Khan was to be his spokesman! «By role»… and by status! But this is not him: this is Bonaparte! Genghis Khan has not yet joined the work, but Napoleon is participating «for both himself and that guy»! Okay: the question is in the case, not for the sake of points for activity. Moreover, even Caesar is skeptical.

«Why do we need this», colleague Napoleon? That’s good question. Really: why? Why, if we, the local ones, are only the form, the shell of the earthly selves! I’m not talking about thoughts: everyone, who had it, has it now. I say about the shell. Or, as a colleague said, Stalin: «about the image of man». Yes, our shell is incorporeal: no bones, no intestines, no meat, no tripe! Therefore: there is no need for food, drink, air, medical care! And since there is no climate, no needs for clothes, shoes and in housing, of course, too. Hence – the legitimate logic of the average man in the street: «Why?!» The man in the street is, of course, not Napoleon: a colleague merely expressed a «general opinion». And then: somehow we been here thousands of years without everything! And yet I go with this question to you! Why am I doing this and why what am I proposing to do?»

I shut up impressively and start «livestock accounting»: I glance over my head. The most intelligent have already realized. I have no doubt that «Caesar will be the first at the microphone» – and my colleague does not fail me.