GRANDMOTHER’S ALPHABET

 
The Ant is so busy
It makes her quite dizzy,
She says that her head
Goes whirl-around-whizzy.
 
 
The Bunny is funny;
He cannot make honey,
Nor write with a pen,
Nor shoot with a gunny.
 
 
The Cow is not able
To sit at the table,
And so we must send her
To eat in the stable.
 
 
The Duck goes a-quacking
And clicking and clacking,
And eats all she finds
From beeswax to blacking.
 
 
The Elephant mighty
Can not find his nighty!
It makes him feel nervous,
And fractious and flighty.
 
 
The Fish has no wish
To be put in a dish,
So he’s off like a flash
With a swishety-swish.
 
 
The Goose has no use
For an Indian pappoose,
So she looks at it sadly,
And says, “What’s the use?”
 
 
The Hen lays an egg,
And stands on one leg,
And says, “Cut-ker-dah-cut!
Observe me, I beg!”
 
 
The Ibis is pretty,
But not very witty;
And when he is tired
He plays with the kitty.
 
 
The Jaguar so cruel
Was killed in a duel,
And left his poor wife
To eat nothing but gruel.
 
 
The kind Kangaroo
Has so little to do,
That he talks to the Moolly
And tries to say “Moo!”
 
 
The Lizard goes sighing,
And sobbing and crying,
Because his poor tail
Got shrunk in the dyeing.
 
 
The Moose is all humpy,
And grumpy and lumpy,
And if you say, “Boo!”
He is off with a thumpy.
 
 
The Newt has a neighbor
Who fights with a sabre,
And when he has conquered
He beats on a tabor.
 
 
The Owl and the Oyster
Went off for a royster,
And when they came back
They were put in a cloister.
 
 
The Pig bought a carrot
To give to his parrot:
But Poll was so frightened
She hid in the garret.
 
 
The Queen in her crown
And velvety gown,
She went to the circus,
And laughed at the clown.
 
 
The Ram and the Rattle-
Snake had a great battle:
For each called the other
A tittlety-tattle.
 
 
The Stork had a fancy
To go to a dancy,
But people said, “No!
You are rather too prancy!”
 
 
The timorous Tapir
Was reading the paper,
And found that his aunt
Had married a draper.
 
 
The Unicorn tried
On a camel to ride,
But there came a sad fall
To himself and his pride.
 
 
The Viper is vain,
And cannot explain
Why people persist so
In calling him plain.
 
 
The Woodchuck is wealthy,
And hearty and healthy:
But sometimes his movements
Are snooping and stealthy.
 
 
The Xiphias perks his
Head up to see Xerxes:
And thinks him much finer
Than Tartars or Turkses.
 
 
The Yammering Yak
Has spots on his back:
He can’t get them off,
So he puts on a sacque.
 
 
The Zebra with zeal
Was cooking a meal:
But he found it was onions
And stopped with a squeal.
 

THE NEW LEAF

“Why are you crying, Little Cat?” asked Little Dog.

“Because my paws are so cold!” said Little Cat. “I have been digging in the snow and I cannot find one.”

“One what?” asked Little Dog.

“One new leaf.”

“What do you want of a new leaf?”

“I want to turn it over, but there just aren’t any to turn.”

“Of course there aren’t!” said Little Dog. “It is winter.”

“But Little Girl is going to find one,” said Little Cat. “I heard her mother say to her, ‘You really must turn over a new leaf!’ and she said, ‘I truthfully will, Mamma!’ and when Little Girl says she truthfully will she always does. Then her mother kissed her, and said everybody had to turn over new leaves now, and she had some of her own to turn, so she knew just how it was. The door shut then – on the tip of my tail, too – and I heard no more; but what do you suppose it means?”

Little Dog shook his head. “We must ask somebody,” he said. “Let me see! Great Old Dog is out for a walk, and Crosspatch Parrot bit me the last time I asked her a question.”

“I know,” said Little Cat. “We will ask Old Cat in the Barn. She knows a good many things, and if she isn’t catching rats – but she generally is – she will tell us.”

They found Old Cat in the Barn sitting on a truss of hay, washing herself. She listened to Little Cat’s story, and her green eyes twinkled.

“So you have been looking for new leaves under the snow!” she said.

“Yes,” said Little Cat. “First I looked on the trees, and there weren’t any there; so I thought it must be leaves of plants and things, so I scratched and dug till my poor paws were almost quite frozen, but not one single scrap of a leaf could I find.”

“Fffff!” said Old Cat in the Barn. “This barn is full of ’em!”

“Full of leaves!” cried Little Cat and Little Dog together. “What can you mean, Old Cat? We don’t call hay leaves!”

“How many rats have you caught this week?” asked Old Cat, turning to Little Dog.

“None!” said Little Dog. “The last rat I caught bit me horridly; besides, they are odious, vulgar beasts, and I don’t care to have anything to do with them.”

“Fffff!” said Old Cat. “Little Cat, how many mice have you caught in the kitchen this week?”

Little Cat hung her head. “I haven’t caught any,” she said. “I don’t care for mice, the flavor is too strong; I like cream better.”

“Ffffff! grrrr-yow!” said Old Cat; her green eyes shot out sparks, and her fur began to stand up. “Now, you two, listen to me! Why do you think the Big People keep you? Because you are soft and pretty and foolish? Not at all! They keep you because you are supposed to be useful. Your mother, Little Cat, was a hard-working, self-respecting mouser, who caught her daily mouse as regularly as she ate her daily bread and milk. Your father, Little Dog, hunted rats with me in this barn as long as he had legs to stand upon, and between us we kept the place in tolerable order. Great Old Dog cannot be expected to hunt at his age, and besides, he is too big; one might as well hunt with an ox. But since your parents died you two lazy children have done next to nothing, and what is the consequence? I am worked to skin and bone, and the mice are all over the house; I heard Cook say so. Mind what I say; no creature, with four legs or two, is worth his salt unless he earns it, in one way or another. Now, what have you to say for yourselves?”

“Miaouw!” said Little Cat. “I am very sorry, Old Cat.”

“Yap! Yap!” said Little Dog. “I am sorry too, Old Cat.”

“Very well!” said Old Cat in the Barn. “Then turn over a new leaf!”

“Miaouw!” “Yap!” “That is just what we want to do!” said Little Cat and Little Dog together; “but we can’t find any.”

“The fact is,” said Old Cat in the Barn, “it is one of the foolish ways of speaking that the Big People have. It just means, stop being bad and begin to be good. Now do you see?”

“Prrr!” said Little Cat; “now I see. I will go and catch a mouse this minute, Old Cat.”

“Wuff!” said Little Dog; “I see, too, and I will come and hunt rats with you, Old Cat.”

“Prrrrrrr!” said Old Cat in the Barn. “That is right! Go to work, like good children, and as I may have been rather short with you lately I will turn over a new leaf, too, and ask you both to supper with me in my hay-parlor. Cook gave me the bones of the Christmas goose, and we will have a great feast.”

MR. HOPPY FROG

 
Mr. Hoppy Frog
Was very, very funny;
Mr. Hoppy Frog
He had not any money.
So he could not buy
A squeaky woolly dog;
It made him sigh and sob and cry,
Poor Mr. Hoppy Frog!
 
 
Going down the lane,
He met with Mistress Kitty;
When she saw his pain,
Her heart was filled with pity.
“Mr. Hoppy Frog,
Oh! do not weep for that!
To buy your woolly dog
I’ll sell my Sunday hat.”
 
 
Bowing down before,
Said Mr. Hoppy Frog,
“I love you even more
Than squeaky woolly dog!
Come to church with me,
And wear your Sunday hat;
And we’ll through life be Frog and wife,
Sweet Mistress Kitty Cat!”
 

NEW YEAR’S DAY IN THE WOOD

“Do I look nice?” asked the Rabbit.

“Very nice!” said the Chipmunk; “that is, for a person who has no tail to speak of. But, of course, you cannot help that.”

The Rabbit looked into the looking-glass pond and saw his little white blob of a tail. “Don’t you want to lend me yours, just this once?” he asked. “I would take great care of it!”

“No, I cannot do that,” said the Chipmunk, “but I can lend you the tail of my late uncle. It is such a fine one that we have kept it to brush out the nest with.”

“The very thing!” said the Rabbit.

So the Chipmunk brought the tail of his late uncle and tied it on to the Rabbit’s stub.

“How does that look?” asked the Rabbit.

“Fine!” said the Chipmunk. “Now tell me how I look!”

“Well enough!” said the Rabbit. “Of course, you would look better if you had long ears.”

“Dear me!” said the Chipmunk; and he, too, looked into the looking-glass pond. “Haven’t you a spare pair that you could lend me?”

“Why, yes,” said the Rabbit. “There is a pair that belonged to my grandfather, hanging on the wall at home. I will get those.”

So the Rabbit got the ears and tied them on to the Chipmunk’s head.

“How do I look now?” asked the Chipmunk.

“Splendid!” said the Rabbit. “Now let us go and make our New Year’s calls. Where shall we go first?”

“I wish to call on Miss Woodchuck!” said the Chipmunk.

“So do I,” said the Rabbit. “We will go there first.” And off they went.

They came to Miss Woodchuck’s door and knocked, and she opened the door. “Mercy!” she cried. “Who are you, and what do you want?”

“We are Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Chipmunk,” said the two friends, “and we have come to make you a New Year’s call.”

“More likely you have come to steal the nuts!” said the lady angrily. “I know Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Chipmunk well, and neither of you is either of them. Who ever heard of a long-tailed rabbit or a long-eared squirrel? Get along with you! You are frights, and probably thieves as well.” And she shut the door in their faces.

The two friends walked a little way in silence; then they stopped and looked at each other.

“You said I looked fine!” said the Rabbit.

“I – I meant the tail!” said the Chipmunk. “It is a fine tail. But you said I looked splendid!”

“I was thinking of the ears!” said the Rabbit. “They are splendid ears.”

They walked on until they came once more to the looking-glass pond. They looked at themselves; then they looked at each other; then, all in a minute, off came the long ears and tail.

“There!” cried the Chipmunk. “Now we look as we were meant to look; and I am bound to say, Rabbit, that it is much more becoming to you.”

“So it is to you!” replied the Rabbit. “Now shall we call on Miss Woodchuck again?”

“Come on!” said the Chipmunk.

So they went to Miss Woodchuck’s house, and knocked once more at the door, and Miss Woodchuck opened it. “Oh!” she cried. “Mr. Chipmunk and Mr. Rabbit, how do you do? I am so glad to see you. A happy New Year to you both!”

“The same to you, Ma’am!” said the Rabbit and the Chipmunk.