Цитаты из книги «Самые лучшие английские анекдоты»

fired, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck!”

Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got

I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I’m headed for the bar anyway… it never hurts to be safe.

after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been completely deleted from your system. Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life. If this is the case, go to the bar and stay until you make at least five friends.

There is a new virus. The code name is WORK. If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances.This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take five friends and go straight to the nearest bar. Order drinks immediately and

The difference between dogs and cats. A dog thinks, “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be gods!” A cat thinks, “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a god!”

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?” “I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously.

you ask again I’ll have to spank you!”