Editor Tatyana Fomina

Illustrator Julia Bodinova

Translator Anna Tanrikulu

© Maria Savina, 2020

© Julia Bodinova, illustrations, 2020

© Anna Tanrikulu, translation, 2020

ISBN 978-5-0051-7642-4

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

2018

Editor Tatyana Fomina

Illustrated by Julia Bodinova

Translated by Anna Tanrikulu

Acknowledgements

I am grateful to my beloved husband and son. If not for them, I would have never written this book.

I would also like to thank:

Maria Korobova, who inspired me to write this book;

Tatyana Fomina, my understanding and literate editor;

Julia Bodinova, who painted amazing water-color illustrations;

Elizaveta Kaltygina, Anastasia Getman and Mikhail Adrisov, who helped me to understand what to do with this book once it was finished;

All mothers and experts who answered my endless questions;

And all of those who helped, supported and waited eagerly.

Dedicated to all new moms out there…

What is the most important thing about child care? Throughout my pregnancy I’ve read tons of books, magazines and articles on the Internet on how to organize breastfeeding, bathe a baby, tell the difference between a bodysuit and a sleepsuit, and choose the right kind of pram suitable for Siberian snow drifts.

In these nine months I’ve managed to read the equivalent of Encyclopaedia Britannica, and surely I knew everything about child care. Well, I was wrong.

After my son was born I realized that I did not read about the most important thing. Apparently, it is all about being a calm and sane mother, which is not so easy to achieve when you sleep only on national holidays and have a colicky baby by your side.

I remember making myself wake up in the mornings after six good night sleeps, each lasting about 18 minutes. “Good morning, sunshine!” I would say to my son, thinking: “I hope I can make it to the evening”.

During the day my son was pure angel. He was looking around, making funny noises and smiling to his mommy. Surely he was having enough sleep! Sometimes though, there were drills during the day as well. Like a bolt from the blue, this tiny baby would suddenly turn on a siren so loud that windows were rattling, and I would rush to his crib, throwing unpeeled potatoes into the soup as I went. So what was that about a calm and sane mother?

It turned out that there was absolutely no point in reading articles such as How to Decorate a Nursery in Pastel Tones or The Best Nursery Rhymes for the Little Ones. It would have made more sense to read something like How to Survive if you Sleep Four Hours a Day, How to Salvage Badly Bitten Breasts or 10 Ways to Reach Nirvana During Baby Colic.

It is not really accepted to complain after you’ve had a baby. Society believes that new mothers must look happy 24/7, always smile and flutter about on the wings of maternal happiness. In reality, every new mother knows about lack of sleep, lack of time and backache. The first months (or even years) of motherhood is a borderline between happiness and a nervous breakdown. All-consuming love for your child lives side by side with horrible anxiety, and infinite happiness goes hand in hand with tears of exhaustion. In short, the words “paradox” and “motherhood” should be synonyms.

If you find yourself at a loss while reading this, you probably do not have children yet. And if you do, then you are probably the father, not the mother.

I truly hope to cheer up all new mothers and tell them honestly and openly: “Yes, we all go through the same things! I know it is not easy for you now, but it will get better with every month! Yes, he (she) will really sleep better one day!”

Right now, many months after the birth of my son, all those first challenges seem like nothing. Only drafts for this book, like a black box from a plane, allowing me to remember those difficult times when I was worn out and cried from exhaustion (((and wanted to run away to the Maldives))))

With time I found harmony and got used to my new lifestyle. I already had my own little tricks about easy child care, our favorite routes and places for walks, our simple little games and small joys. I learned to find time for everything and concentrate on the most important. I learned how to enjoy the little things. And I learned all of this from my son.

There I was, already giving advice to my friend who was soon to be a mom. She was bombing me with questions about diaper brands, right number of wheels in a pram and the best form of breastfeeding pillows. I was writing all those lifehacks down and sending it to her one by one. Then she gave birth, and her questions changed direction to When am I going to get enough sleep, How to survive days that are exactly the same and When is it going to get easier. I tried to cheer up the new mommy, telling her about my experience. I told her all those things that I longed to hear when my son was born.

Some time later another one of my friends gave birth, and we had exactly the same conversations. This is how my personal experience made its way to becoming a whole book.

Lifehack For Moms is a compilation of ideas and advice which helped me. I wrote honestly, with a great deal of self-irony and endless love for the main character in this book – my son Matvey.

This book is not going to teach you how to raise a child. Here you will not find any strict rules of breastfeeding, first baby foods or early childhood development. I just wanted to help all new mothers make their first months of motherhood a little bit easier, happier and more comfortable. I would be very glad if you did not worry too much and enjoyed more of those happy minutes of being with your little one.

This book contains simple advice on how to bathe a newborn baby or dress him/her for a walk, as well as lifehacks on the most burning issues such as “How to teach a child to fall asleep easily”, “How to find time for everything” and “How to get back in shape after birth”.

Although I have only one child I consider that I do have enough knowledge about motherhood. Moreover, some chapters contain advice from experts and opinions of other moms.

I would be happy if you find something useful in this book and put it into practice. But please, do not take it too seriously and do not consider it to be the ultimate manual of child care. Take into consideration only those things which comply with your own views and just laugh together with me at the main hero of this book and his crazy mother.

By the way, there is something that is not written anywhere. You could read all about swaddling, bathing and breastfeeding, easily cite Sears and doctor Spock, and practice carrying your cat in a sling… But you will never be ready for motherhood. I am talking about the feeling that you are a mom now, and your life will never ever be the same again. And it is amazing!

Have fun reading!

Chapter 1. Shopping for a newborn

There will be no special lifehacks in this chapter, but since I claimed that this book will be useful for future mothers, it is important to begin with baby essentials shopping list. It is something that every mom-to-be would really need. I remember googling what to buy in preparation for a baby and finding tons of different checklists. I tried finding out what they had in common and wrote out all the differences. In short, I was (((wasting my time))) doing research.

It turned out that there are not that many things which are really essential to buy before the baby arrives. But who will stop a pregnant woman from shopping? I know how much pleasure it brings so I am definitely not going to stop you. I will just write a list of things that came in handy personally for me.

І. Things you need to buy before the baby is born:

1. Baby bed. Most future parents start by buying a crib. I would say that in this case brand does not matter. Your baby cannot read yet so he/she won’t know that you bought a locally manufactured bed instead of a fancy Italian one. Moreover, let me assure you that in the beginning your baby will probably sleep everywhere else but in his own bed – i.e. in your bed, in a pram or in your arms. Our son boycotted his bed and screamed every time when we tried to put him in there (apparently he did guess that it was not Italian design!)

Nevertheless, even if you are a fan of natural parenting and co-sleeping, you still need a baby bed, simply to put a child in it when you are going to take a shower. This way you will be sure that your little one does not roll anywhere or fall.

There are many bed choices available: on wheels, stable ones, rocking ones… We took the one on wheels. Many times we just moved the bed around, following feng shui or just at random. So the wheels turned out to be very useful. It is very convenient to move such a bed around, rocking the baby to sleep. I guess those rocking beds would also work for that purpose, especially during the first months as they would help to calm down a newborn child.

Make sure to buy soft bumpers for the bed so that the baby will not bang and hurt him/herself or stick his leg between the rods.

There are baby beds that could be put right next to the parents’ bed, which is very convenient. In that case the gap between the beds can be filled with rolled towels. It is a great compromise for those moms and dads who want the baby to sleep next to them but are not fond of the idea of sleeping in the same bed with the child. We are those type of parents, so it would have worked perfectly for us, but we made a big mistake of not paying attention that both mattresses must match in height. So it turned out that even if we lowered the bottom of the crib, it still would not have worked.

This is why we decided to buy a baby bassinet that attaches to the parents’ bed. It worked perfectly for the first months. I loved that thing, but by the time my son turned five months old, it was already too small for him.

2. Mattress for the baby bed should be hard enough and does not sag easily.

3. Waterproof cloth