"Whoever walks through London streets,"
Said Momus to the son of Saturn,
"Each day new edifices meets,
Of queer proportion, queerer pattern:
If thou, O cloud-compelling god,
Wilt aid me with thy special grace,
I, too, will wield my motley hod,
And build a church in Langham-place."
 
 
"Agreed," the Thunderer cries; "go plant
Thine edifice, I care not how ill;
Take notice, earth. I hereby grant
Carte blanche of mortar, stone, and trowel.
Go Hermes, Hercules, and Mars,
Fraught with these bills on Henry Hase,
Drop with yon jester from the stars,
And build a church in Langham-place."
 

London Lyrics-New Monthly Mag.

Among all our specimens of contemporary church-building, none has excited more animadversion than All-Souls', Langham-place, erected in 1822-1825, from the designs of Mr. Nash. Its general effect is extraordinary and objectionable; but, unfortunately for what merit it really possesses, many of its assailants have so far disregarded the just principles of taste and criticism, as to go laboriously out of their way to be profanely witty on its defects. Song and satire, raillery and ridicule, pun and pasquinade, and even the coarseness of caricature, have thus been let off at this specimen of NASH-ional architecture; whilst their authors have wittingly kept out any redeeming graces which could be found in its architectural details.

The principal features of the exterior were suggested by its situation, it being placed on an angular plot of ground, between Langham-place and Regent-street. To afford an advantageous view from either point, the tower, which is circular, is nearly detached from the body of the church, and is surrounded by columns of the modern Ionic order, supporting an entablature, crowned by a balustrade, which is continued along the sides of the church. Above the portico is a Corinthian peristyle, the base of which is also that of a fluted cone, which forms the spire, and is terminated in an acute point. The steeple is complete in itself, and adapted to its situation, having the same appearance which ever way it is viewed. This portion of the edifice has, however, been more stigmatized than any other, although it has been pronounced by persons of taste and accredited judgment to be the best steeple recently erected. To our eye, the church itself, apart from the tower, (for such it almost is) is perhaps, one of the most miserable structures in the metropolis,—in its starved proportions more resembling a manufactory, or warehouse, than the impressive character of a church exterior; an effect to which the Londoner is not an entire stranger. Here, too, we are inclined to ascribe much of the ridicule, which the whole church has received, to its puny proportions and scantiness of decoration, which are far from being assisted by any stupendousness in their details, the first impression of which might probably have fixed the attention of the spectator. Indeed, the whole style of the tower and steeple appears peculiarly illadapted for so small a scale as has here been attempted.

As we love "a jest's prosperity," we recommend such of our readers as are partial to innocent pasquinade, to turn to the "Lyric," in a recent volume of the New Monthly Magazine, commencing as above. It is too long for entire insertion here, but its raciness will doubtless gratify those who may be induced to refer to it.

TREMENDOUS RAINS

(For the Mirror.)

 
Like a low-hung cloud, it rains so fast,
That all at once it falls.—DRYDEN.
 

There are two English proverbs relative to rain; the first is, "It rains by Planets." "This the country people (says Ray) use when it rains in one place and not in another; meaning that the showers are governed by planets, which being erratic in their own motions, cause such uncertain wandering of clouds and falls of rain. Or it rains by planets—that is, the falls of showers are as uncertain, as the motions of the planets are imagined to be." The second—"It never rains but it pours:" which appears to be the case at present. In the year 553 it rained violently in Scotland for five months; in 918 there was a continual rain in that country for five months; a violent one in London 1222; again 1233, so violent that the harvest did not begin till Michaelmas; 1338, from Midsummer to Christmas, so that there was not one day or night dry together; in Wales, which destroyed 10,000 sheep, September 19th 1752; in Languedoc, which destroyed the village of Bar le Due, April 26th, 1776; and in the Island of Cuba, on the 21st of June, 1791, 3,000 persons and 11,700 cattle of various kinds perished by the torrents occasioned by the rains.

P. T. W.

CURIOUS SCRAPS

(For the Mirror.)

The first dissection on record, is one in which Democritus of Obdera, was engaged, in order to ascertain the sources and course of the bile.—It was the custom among the Egyptians, to carry about at their feasts a skeleton, least their guests, in the midst of feasting and merriment, should forget the frail tenure of life and its enjoyments.

The most ancient eclipse upon record, was observed by the Chaldeans 721 years before the Christian era, and recorded by Ptolemy. The observation was made at Babylon the 19th of March.—In ancient days, for want of parchment to draw deeds upon, great estates were frequently conveyed from one family to another only by the ceremony of a turf and a stone, delivered before witnesses, and without any written agreement.—It is singular, that by the Doomsday Book, as quoted by Camden, there appears to have been in Lincoln, when that survey was taken, no less than 1070 "inns for entertainment."—Henry I., about the year 1125, caused to be made a standard yard, from the length of his own arm, in order to prevent frauds in the measurement of cloth. This standard is supposed to have been deposited, with other measures, &c. in Winchester; he likewise (it is said) ordered halfpence and farthings to be made round, which before his time were square.—The Universities of Oxford and Cambridge were first called "studia," or "studies."—Edward the Confessor received yearly, from the manor of Barton, near Gloucester, 3,000 loaves of bread for the maintenance of his dogs—In the reign of Edward III., only three taverns might sell sweet wines in London; one in Cheape, one in Wallbrook, and the other in Lombard Street.—Lord Lyttleton, in his Life of Henry II., vol. i. p. 50, says, "Most of our ancient historians give him the character of a very religious prince, but his religion was, after the fashion of those times, belief without examination, and devotion without piety. It was a religion that at the same time allowed him to pillage kingdoms, that threw him on his knees before a relic or a cross, but suffered him unrestrained to trample upon the liberties and rights of mankind;" again, "his government was harsh and despotic, violating even the principles of that institution which he himself had established. Yet so far he performed the duty of a sovereign that he took care to maintain a good police in his realm; which, in the tumultuous state of his government, was a great and difficult work." How well he performed it, we may learn even from the testimony of a contemporary Saxon historian, who says, "during his reign a man might have travelled in perfect security all over the kingdom, with his bosom full of gold; nor durst any kill another in revenge of the greatest offences, nor offer violence to the chastity of a woman. But it was a poor compensation that the highways were safe, when the courts of justice were dens of thieves, and when almost every man in authority, or in office, used his power to oppress and pillage the people."—Towards the close of the life of Henry IV., he kept the regal diadem always in his sight by day, and at night it shared his pillow. Once the Prince of Wales, whom Henry always suspected more than he loved, seeing his father in a most violent paroxysm of disease, removed the crown from his bed. The king on his recovery missed it, sent for his son, and taxed him with his impatience and want of duty, but the prince defended his conduct with such rational modesty, that Henry, convinced of his innocence, embraced and blessed him. "Alas!" said Henry to his son, "you know too well how I gained this crown. How will you defend this ill-gotten possession?" "With my sword," said the prince, "as my father has done."

Henry V. was, perhaps, the first English monarch who had ships of his own. Two of these, which sailed against Harfleur, were called "The King's Chamber," and "The King's Hall." They had purple sails, and were large and beautiful.

Party rage ran so high in 1403, that an act of parliament was found necessary to declare, "Pulling out of eyes and cutting out of tongues to be felony."—Dr. Rush, of Philadelphia, in his "Inquiry into the effects of spirituous liquors on the human body, and their influence on the happiness of society;" says, "Among the inhabitants of cities, spirits produce debts, disgrace, and bankruptcy. Among farmers, they produce idleness with its usual consequence, such as houses without windows, barns without roofs, gardens without enclosures, fields without fences, hogs without yokes, sheep without wool, meagre cattle, feeble horses, and half clad, dirty children, without principles, morals, or manners."

P. T. W.

Shower of Sugar Plums—Charles XI., attended by his court, had been hunting in the neighbourhood of Carcassone. After the stag had been taken, a gentleman of the neighbourhood invited the king to a splendid dinner which he had prepared for him. At the conclusion of the banquet the ceiling of the hall suddenly opened, a thick cloud, descended and burst over their heads like a thunder storm, pouring forth a shower of sugar-plums instead of hail, which was succeeded by a gentle rain of rose-water.

The Coin Guinea—In the reign of king Charles II., when Sir Robert Holmes, of the Isle of Wight, brought gold-dust from the coast of Guinea, a guinea first received its name from that country.

A Motto.—A constant frequenter of city feasts, having grown enormously fat, it was proposed to write on his back, "Widened at the expense of the corporation of London."

Sedan-chairs and Hackney-coaches.—Sir S. Duncombe, predecessor to Duncombe Lord Feversham, and gentleman pensioner to King James and Charles I., introduced sedan-chairs into this country, anno 1634, when he procured a patent that vested in him and his heirs the sole right of carrying persons up and down in them for a certain sum. Sir Saunders had been a great traveller, and saw these chairs at Sedan, where they were first invented. It is remarkable that Capt. Bailey introduced the use of hackney-coaches in this year; a tolerable ride might then be obtained, in either of these vehicles for four pence.

Heroism—Seward, "the brave Earl of Northumberland," feeling in his sickness that he drew near his end, quitted his bed and put on his armour, saying, "That it became not a man to die like a beast," on which he died standing; an act as singular as it was heroic.

Epigram on Epigrams.

 
What is an epigram? a dwarfish whole,
Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
 

W. H. H.