I am the COUGAR
Proofreader Jeanne Richardson
Photograph Irina Bjørnø
© Irina Bjørnø, 2019
© Irina Bjørnø, photos, 2019
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
All modern books written about self-development and self-help for modern women developed around one main idea: how to make you more beautiful, lovely, happy, and positive. In spite of the thousands of books written about positive thinking, right diets, fitness exercises the world around us is booming with female problems: physical (weight, health), mental (anger, sexual frustrations) and psychological (low self esteem, anorexia, unhappiness). Why is this? It happens because positive methods concentrate only on your positive side and does not respect your real nature, which is always dual. You know that you are both: angel and devil, sleeping beauty and Cougar. Until you can be the perfect Cougar and recognise these qualities inside you, you cannot become a little mermaid.
Life made you a Cougar. Your parents, school, and family – they all contributed to this task. How can you be a little mermaid in our modern, mad and man chauvinistic society? No way! You are as you are! Do not be ashamed of yourself!
What is absolutely most important is that in every situation you feel that you are yourself, you are natural, you are spontaneous and creative, and you are happy with your choice.
Positive methods sometime give you a false «positive image». It is a mask, which people use on the surface – smiling, positive, sweet, with daily affirmations «I am an angel».
You know that some times such roles or mask are too sweet. You absolutely do not enjoy your «Angel» image as much as you enjoyed your «Cougar» role before – that is the problem. You cannot relax in your very sweet new image in all of the everyday situations life creates. This is not your own creation – someone told you that a positive image is good for girls. But this creates a conflict inside you. Deep inside you are the «Cougar» and you like it. Very deep inside, you enjoy being the Cougar. Inside, skin deep, you are the murder, sexual maniac, kleptomaniac and shopaholic. Outside your facade is the false no-wind weather, inside you are a tropical hurricane. It is OK. You ARE the Cougar. Relax and enjoy it.
I will guide you on how to become the Perfect Cougar in our chaotic, hectic and man-mad everyday modern life, and have no conflicts with your self. How can I do it? It is because I am a beautiful, clever Cougar myself, and I enjoy my life, my world and myself. I will share my secrets with you, my friend. I cannot teach you anything – you need to develop your own expertise to be the perfect Cougar, but I will tell you about the methods which are working for me. You can adopt some of them, and then develop your own methods.
This book is very practical and easy. It is the perfect start to creating a new chapter in your life – and you will enjoy it!
Here are the issues, which we will be discussing together with you in this book:
– Who is the Cougar?
– My Cougar History
– How the Cougar should make her decisions.
– Morning practices for Cougares
– Physical Exercises for the excellence of the Cougar
– Perfect diet for the perfect Cougar
– Small everyday secrets of the beautiful Cougar
– 7 tricks for a good Cougar to make a good day out of a bad one.
– Evening rituals for the modern Cougar
– The Sexy Cougar
– The Clever Cougar
– Next generation of Cougares – make the secrets available for the next generation as a part of your heritage
– Extra (lucky Cougar number): Cougar and her death
I dedicate this book to all the beautiful and clever women of the World! My inspiration came especially from knowing the Cougares from my own family: my grand-grand mother Maria, my granny Alexandra, my mom Luisa. But, also, I am very grateful and proud that I know several Cougares of 20th century such as Karen Blixen a Danish writer, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe, Madonna; an American singer who is my age. Their personal histories inspired me to write this book.
1. Who is the Cougar?
Duality is the basic quality of existence. Day and night are supplementary to each other. Love and hate are the two sides of the same: relations. It is natural. If you do not hate your husband/boyfriend sometimes you have no relations with him. When you have no family you feel unhappy; when you create a family you still feel unhappy sometimes (differently unhappy) – it is the duality of life. But without duality there is no development. I suggest that you start to love life’s conflicts and stay happy!
A positive life without conflicts is an impotent life. Paradise is not complete without hell. Polarity is natural. A woman is yin (from Venus) and a man is yang (from Mars) – it is the fundamental conflict of life – and it is the beauty of existence! Without this fundamental difference life cannot exist and proceed! Children are the result of this life duality.
Lesbian couples cannot create a child, gay couples are in the same position – they lack the fundamental duality, polarisation, and have very little conflicts inside their relationships. Polarisation exists in homosexual relations, also, but not the genetic one; their polarisation is more a play (like a theatre roles). It is not a natural polarisation. It is like the difference between nature and art. Nature is natural and ever changing; art is a fake, it could be a very beautiful fake, but it is always the same. Art is a reflection of the momentary mood of its creator, his self-therapy. Only a few artists can reflect nature as an objective science, as Leonardo, Rafael, Mozart and several others to name a few.
«Cougar» is part of your personality as a destroyer, as a negative motivator, as a magical power of creation a new reality. «Cougar» is your strength against everyday hazards, messes, and madness. It is the protection part of your «little mermaid».
There are three phases of your personal activities during all of your life: they are the creative phase, maintenance phase and destruction phase. Each part of these phases demands your active position. Sometime only the Cougar can fulfil all these challenges. A sweet lady has no power to make the changes happen. The Cougar has.
In order to enjoy your life story you need to allow yourself to try different sides of existence. If you suppress part of yourself you will never understand the beauty to be a whole person, to be beyond your duality, to be happy.
To be whole as a person you need to develop your «Cougar» style and enjoy it.
2. My Cougar Story
My grand-grand mother was a Cougar. She lived in Belorussia in the small city named Polotsk more than 100 years ago. She was rich, well educated and clever. She was clairvoyant, a healer, and a «medicine woman», whom in medieval times would have been classified as one to be burned in the inquisition «purification» fire.
She could see, or sense, events before they actually happened, but she couldn’t interfere with the destiny of people. She respected the free will of people as a fundamental human right. She knew precisely how to heal wounds and how to predict the future. But, she could not avoid her destiny during the ugly time of communist’s suppression, after the October revolution, as to be part of this collective madness. I have a picture of her – a little old medallion – and I can see the beautiful self-confidence woman with a big hat – a real «mystery» for men.
There is an old picture of her with her husband and her daughter Sasha, my grand mother, when Sasha was only 6 years old. My grandmother who I knew and adore since my childhood was a real modern «Cougar» – being married 4 times and with 5 different men (one of them was free-love) in spite of her handicap. She insured her leg, when she was only 20, working together with Vladimir Lenin in the Kremlin – so called «subbotnik» – it was a special day when people devoted their free labour for revolutionary tasks.